What Makes You Beautiful

Ever wondered what makes a woman beautiful? A lot of people use the word beautiful very casually, but not me, I choose to use it more judiciously. I feel for a woman to be called beautiful she needs to have a few qualities. A woman can be attractive, hot, sexy or pretty, but not beautiful.  

For a woman to qualify as beautiful she needs more than just a pretty face maybe not even a pretty face. She needs to have certain things in her character that takes her beyond the rest. A pretty face will make you smile, but a beautiful woman makes you happy. You can miss a pretty face, but a beautiful woman…you cannot live without. A beautiful woman will take the time to notice you, while a pretty face will work over time to get you and many others notice her. A pretty face is easy to notice, you see her, along with all the other strangers (nothing special), but a beautiful woman is noticed only by few and that makes her special. It makes you special too, for seeing something in her that no one else does. 

I do admit that pretty faces are easy to fall for, but in time, a pretty face is never why a relationship lasts, it’s the character of the person, her qualities that you fall in love with and also what makes her beautiful. Which brings us to a quote from my favourite poet John Keats, he famously wrote

“A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness.”

And Joseph Addison famously wrote:
“Beauty soon grows familiar to the lover, Fades in his eye, and palls upon the sense.” What Joseph Addison on the other hand meant by beauty here, is the pretty face I was talking about. 

So many young girls work so hard to look beautiful (as they would like to be seen) without knowing that beauty is only skin deep, and beautiful is them as a person, their personality, they way they carry themselves. I recently saw a documentary where Korean girls, go through painful cosmetic surgeries just too make their eyes look bigger. It doesn't stop there, all around the world girls go for breast implant, re-constructive cosmetic surgeries trying to have the perfect, eyes, nose, lips, face, feet etc.  oh and even the perfect ‘V’ (if you know what I mean). Yes there’s a cosmetic surgery even for that part of the female body. Botox, facelift…Where does it stop? I don’t know, and it’s disturbing. If you've seen ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ you’ll know what I mean. 

 “It is foolish to wish for beauty. Sensible people never either desire it for themselves or care about it in others. If the mind be but well cultivated, and the heart well disposed, no one ever cares for the exterior.”

ANNE BRONTE

On the flip side of things, I do remember a very pretty friend of mine crying to me one day. She said her beauty was a curse, because no one ever cared to look at who she was as a person. She cried about how she was tired about boys proposing to her all the time. I felt bad for her for a while till I asked her “What about your boyfriend?”, to which she replied “Oh…I don’t love him, I just keep him around to take me here and there, I want a guy to love me for who I am”.  She’s still single… 

Is that me in the movie Silver Lining Playbook?

I watched The Silver Lining Playbook yesterday, and it felt like I was watching myself on a mirror. At first I thought this dude (Bradley Cooper) is so lame, but as I watched on I began to see how I was just like him (his character in the movie). Well for those who have not seen the movie here’s a short synopsis {Warning Spoiler Alert} The movie is about Pat Solatano who is released into his parents' care after eight months of treatment for undiagnosed bipolar disorder. He comes home from work one day and finds his wife in the shower with another man getting jiggy, he loses his cool and beats the shit out of him, which leads him to being sentenced and treated at the mental hospital. But his recovery seems far from certain, when he stops taking his medication and becomes increasingly obsessed with winning back his estranged wife, from whom he has a restraining order bla bla bla. {Spoiler End}

As we sat there watching and laughing at his crazy antics, I began to see a lot of myself. In my mind I was like, “shit, I said the same thing, did the exact same thing, feel exactly same way” and was equally obsessed with my girlfriend no more. In my mind I knew we were never getting back together, but denial keeps that uninspiring false hope alive. “If I change, be a better person, we can get back together”. That’s what you tell yourself every day, and deep down inside you know that that’s bullshit. And the sad part is that, it keeps you from appreciating new people that come into your life.

I just read a blog (read it) in which the writer compared love to drinking whiskey (how apt lol) and I must say she described it very well. If falling in love is like drinking whiskey then breaking up must be the hangover... there’s no curing it (well there is one and that’s having another glass of whiskey but I don’t recommend it). And just like curing a hangover, moving on is the hardest part, but, I've learned that if you felt that love in ever fibre of your body even for that very short time, you must be grateful to that person for it. Some people go through an entire lifetime happily married with kids never feeling it.

I don’t even know why I'm writing this shitty review/recommendation cum emotional outburst. A lot of people will be reading this and be like “Dammit another emotional blog post!” but come on guys gimme a break, I'm an emotional guy :-D.  Anyway what I really wanted to say is that you should watch the movie. Stellar performance by Bradler Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence and the supporting actors. But I must say the married guy in the movie was so damn depressing…I mean why the fuck did you get married to be so miserable?. And I wonder if it really is that way in real life? All that trouble to be so miserable...

PS. I'M NOT BIPOLAR!

Watch the movie trailer.

A stranger in my own world...

It feels strange to be back in Delhi this time around. I never really missed Aizawl when I come back from the winter holidays, but this time I feel lost. Did I fall in love and leave my heart behind? No. Do I miss my family? No, they’re all here in Delhi for an extended vacation. Friends? Yeah but not enough to make me feel this way. So why do I feel so out of place? I can’t really put my finger on it and say this is why, but something’s not right.

I’m forced to conclude that this might be one of the side effects of growing old. As we grow older the need to belong somewhere or with someone grows with us. And for people like me who've lived their entire life more or less like a vagabond, never belonging to a place, it gets confusing. I was born in Shillong then we moved to Aizawl where I stayed for 7 years, then went back to Shillong, stayed there for 7 years, then moved to Delhi and have been living here since. So where is home for me? I don't know yet and screw you Michael Buble!

They say “home is where the heart is” and I think I can believe that but my heart is right here, doesn't belong to anyone and nobody’s heart belongs to me. So there’s no hope of finding a home in that department anytime soon either. But I often ask myself how in the world did I become so unbearably depressing and I guess it’s time and growing old…but why do I feel so old DAMMIT I'm only 30!

I can honestly say that I’m not the man I used to be emotionally and physically. In fact, I wasn't always this fat and unattractive nor was I always this intimidated by women. There was once a time when I was a slim, smooth talking, confident son of a gun, and like the song said “Girls’ faces formed the forward path, from phony jealousy to memorizing politics of ancient history…” :-p
A broken heart or two can change a man.

Aaahh but gone are the days of magicians and magic potions, I could do with a few potions right now. 

P.s. Screw you too Chris Daughtry! 

My Grown Up Christmas Wish

Every man is a child at heart (at least I am) and no matter how old you are, there's something about Christmas that brings out the little boy excitement of yester years. Waking up on Christmas day and rushing to the Christmas tree to find under it boxes beautifully and perfectly wrapped with your name on it was the best feeling ever. The funny thing is I never ever got what I wanted for Christmas, but I always got something and that was what mattered and what made Christmas special.

I remember this one time I wished for a wireless remote controlled helicopter and got a remote controlled car that transformed into a robot instead. It was far from my wish but I still loved it and took it everywhere I went. My sister Zorin had it rough that year, she had asked for a Barbie doll house but she got a robot that emitted smoke from its mouth (the smoke that came out didn’t smell too good either). Imagine her disappointment, from Barbie doll house to a damn robot. Santa must have been smoking weed on Christmas eve for that kind of shit to happen. 

This year, since my work schedule has been rather tight, I didn’t have time to buy any gift for any of my family, not even my grandmother, not even myself! Yes I have nothing new this year, and it’s kinda sad how work can eat up your personal life (I’m just happy to be home with family spending some quality time). So I decided that this year I’m just going to make a wish list and maybe He will see how hard the year has been on me and make my wishes come true. 

But there’s a trick to convince Him to have pity on you and grant you these wishes, and I’m going share that secret with you. Now the trick is that every time you ask God for a gift or a wish, you should follow a simple but effective rule. Imagine He gets billions of wishes everyday maybe every minute and for Him to even consider yours as a priority to grant it, the chances are slim. Ahhhh but all hope is not lost my friends, just follow my simple advice. In your list of wishes, the first wish is like a preview of the whole list, so always make it the most unselfish heart warming one. One that makes the reader go 'awwwwwwww'. the kind of 'awwwww' when you see a cute baby or a cat.

Just follow my lead and you’ll do just fine.

My Grown up Christmas wishes:

• I wish all the poor people in the world had money to buy warm clothes and food this winter (awwwwwwwww)
• I wish I would get paid more/ get a raise
• On the 23 of December I want to meet my wife to be
• I wish petrol prices would get lower
• I wish I had enough money to buy the Range Rover Evoque
• I wish I was a better musician
• I wish I could stop smoking
• I wish I would stop aging
• I wish I could lose some weight 
• I wish I had more time to spend with my family especially my grandmother
• I wish my shoe racks had more shoes
• I wish I had more perfume
• I wish I could be done with my student loan, which I have been paying forever
• I wish I could play basketball and football again (for real not on my xbox)
• I wish people would stop branding me as a player just because I hangout with players
• I wish my best friends Salim and John were still alive (miss you much buddies)
• I wish I was a little less stubborn and a little more matured 
• I wish E.L James would stop writing novels
• I wish my buddy Joseph finally gets a girlfriend

So there it is my grownup Christmas wishes. See how I started and ended with a selfless wish? That's how you do it! As you can see I have some very selfish wishes, so for a list to end with those lessens the chances of the list of wishes being granted. That's why you always end it with a selfless one. in simple words start with the 'awwwwww' and end with an 'awwwwww'. (This tip comes free of charge as it's Christmas time).
Have a very Merry Christmas everyone and I hope all your wishes come true!

My Delhi :'-(

They say you can only love as much as you can hate. Delhi I have loved you so much, for all your tantrums and shenanigans, for all your mystery, quaint acquaintances and for all the beautiful surprises. I have many a times been a passionate defender of why you are the best city in India. I have traveled the world, but never have I seen a city that matches you in grandeur, culture, beauty and splendor. And as I sit here writing this, I can’t help but feel betrayed and confused, wondering why you have to scar all your best memories with this unforgiving one that make me detest you. 

The truth is, I don’t mind hating you, because I can make do with hate, I can learn to ignore hate, I can learn to suppress hate. Plus for everything I hate about you, you always throw something wonderful back that balances things out. 

I hate you for the relentless summer heat, the endless traffic jams and rash driving. I hate you for the stench of urine that comes from every other corner. I hate you for the auto drivers ever so ready to fleece commuters local and foreign alike. I could list down a million things I hate and can live with about you, but for the rapes and appalling attacks on women...I’m ashamed of you. 

I’m ashamed that this crime against humanity, this gruesome rape will too in time be nothing more than an incident that shook the city and not one that changed the city. I’m ashamed of you because I cannot hate you for this incident. I cannot hate you, because I cannot ignore this diabolic act that happens ever so often. I cannot hate you because I cannot make do with this incident, I have sisters, friends and family in the city that trusts you with their lives and you cannot protect them. I’m ashamed of you because you will yet again fail to do anything right about this incident but mostly because I cannot suppress this fear of ’what if…?’.  

For fifteen years, we’ve had our romance, Delhi you and I. I came as a boy with nothing but a dream and you made a man out of me, gave me a home and foundation to build my dream. And it saddens me now that I have to pause and think twice every time someone asks me where I’m from, when it usually comes out swift with pride. 

The Root of the Great Indian Accent Finally Uncovered!

I have always wondered why we Indians have such a thick accent when it comes to spoken English. Even if a person has been living in the US, Australia or UK for over 10/20, you always get hints of the typical Indian accent every once in a while. Then I realized that we're not alone, our European, African, Latino, and Asian brothers and sisters too have very unique accents.

(Without any disrespect intended, I think Latinos have the thickest accent when it comes to English followed by Chinese then Indian and I still insist that the Jamaican accent is the coolest accent ever, women still feel that ze French is ze sexiest, I have no clue why). 

I cant guarantee that its a 100% correct, but I'd like to think that I’ve finally uncovered why we Indians have this thick accent, why we pronounce certain words very differently and why its stuck with us throughout our lives.

We all know that a child's kindergarten years are the most crucial years when it comes to learning and developing language, teach them right and they will get it right from then on. Teach them wrong, and for lack of a better word, you will see that they're f*&#d for life! (Not literally of course). 

So from my in depth research, I have come to a conclusion that it’s because of the way we have been taught the very basics of the English language - ABC. 

The Eureka Moment:

I was reading something and could not pronounce this one word right. So I looked up the dictionary and it made me laugh, because the way it was spelled and the way it was supposed to be pronounced was very different. So with the reassuring "No one could have got that right" smirk, I proceeded to confidently read on. Later that day, I started putting together a few words we so horrifically pronounce and started visualizing on the root of the problem. That's when I had my Eureka moment (and no I wasn't naked, so you can stop visualizing on that part). 

The Scenario:
Now imaging kids sitting in a classroom being taught ABC the way I visualized it, and you will understand why the poor buggers are scarred for life:
1. They're never gonna get their pronunciations right
2. All the wrong pronunciations put together, will form a very bad accent
3. They're never going to get their spellings right

A for Aarange (Orange)
B for Bhalue (Value)
C for Sea food
D for dabblew dabblew F (WWF)
E for Ediot (Idiot)
F for feciency (efficiency)
G for Guce (Juice)
I for eye
J for Jeebra (Zeebra)
k for kartoon (Cartoon)
L for L-luminium (aluminum)
M for M-menem (Eminem)
N for Ntertainment (Entertainment)
O for oppostrophy (apostrophe)
P for phorain (Foreign), Phlawer (flower)
R for R-ban (Urban)
S for S-cart (Escort)
T for Trink (Drink) mainly by the Nagas and Manipuris
U for Urope (Europe)
V for Velcome (Welcome)
W for Wee (V), Channel V is often pronounced as Channel Wee (North Indians)
X for Excident (Accident)
Y for Yendian (Indian), this is typically south Indian accent
Z for Zoker (Joker), This is common in the North East (especially Mizos)

Even though I am extremely proud of my profound observation and discovery, I find myself in a new dilemma. If this is the cause of our Indian accent…what about the Chinese, the French etc.? How do they teach ABC to their kids for them to have an accent like they do? One can only wonder...