I can feel the cold sensation of disinterest creeping up my
mind. How can it be when only 9 and two thirds of an hour ago it was the warm
feeling of contentment cascading through my soul?
Halfway between a quarter and a half mid life crisis, I somehow
for the first time see myself as a third person. From the safety of a vantage
point I watch myself looking at myself with complete contempt.
I see a man scarred with scars, dark dots and jagged lines
and circles cloaked with a personality of a semi mad man part time drunk. The
eclipse slowly but surely swallows his humanity as he slowly fades from
existence.
The beard, yes the beard is a mask, a façade just like his
clothes hiding his scars. He looks like a dying man desperately living to die.
A man abandoned by hope with extreme prejudice.
What’s the difference between a man and a real man? You might think you know the answer, getting all philosophical and shit. The truth is, YOU DON'T KNOW! Lucky for you I'm here to educate your ignorant ass once again. Just follow my advice, and you will learn how to be a real man, get more respect and women will fall for you like the great walls of Jericho. Hallelujah!
The answer to the question above is simple- hold tight and
shake hard!
Hell no! I don’t mean your...(you know) or anyone else’s. I’m
talking about a hug and a hand shake.
Anyway here’s how its done:
Hold Tight
What’s a hug? A hug is a sign that you adore someone, that
you miss them, you love them, that they mean something to you, so when you hug
someone be it a man hug or a woman hug, hug them like you mean it, put some
strength into it. It really doesn’t matter if you’re a bad ass gangster or a gentleman, if you don’t know how to hug proper – you’re a bitch!
But remember you cannot 'man hug' a woman and 'woman hug' a man, please don't ever do that. A man hug or a bro hug is a quick one, just 3 seconds long - use your right hand to
grasp another man’s left hand and put some man strength to it and pull him close
very quickly with just one shoulder touching theirs followed by a quick a pat on the
back and let go. Any longer and you might leave the wrong impression. The
arms should come between the shoulder and chest during the hug, you cannot have
two men rubbing their chest together, it’s just not right. No No No.
Now a woman hug is more emotional and means a lot more. In a
woman hug you use both arms, hold her gently before you put some strength into it (not too much though) and hold her tight as her head rests on your chest. It’s
all about showing them who’s the man! It’s about showing them that you're
there and that she has nothing to fear. It’s about showing them that they are
safe and secure in your arms. It’s about showing them that you are her Knight
in shining armor. If you do it right you will hear a sigh of relief from her
and feel her heartbeat slow down. And you will feel like a real man. Don’t ever
lazy hug anyone, for me it’s just plain offensive and I will despise you
forever!
Shake Hard
Nothing, really Nothing fucking irritates me more than a
weak handshake from another man. If you weak handshake me or offer just the tip
of your hand I will despise your guts and brand you as a pussy.
A handshake was a sacred man thing back in the day - women were never allowed
to shake a man’s hand because it was what men do. Handshakes were a sign that you
were unarmed and a sign of trust and goodwill. Cowboys would spit on their
hands and shake when deals were made. Offer a weak shake or the tip of your
hand to a cowboy and you’d probably get your jingle bells blown off.
A good firm hold and two solid shakes is all it takes to
confirm that you are a self confident, assertive man that cannot be messed
around with. If you give me a weak shake I already know that I can defeat you
mentally. If you offer me the tip of your fucking hand I know that I can beat
you up mentally and physically, I might even be tempted to bitch slap you.
Here’s how you do a proper handshake – Look at the person in
the eye, offer your hand, firmly grasp his hand, smile then shake twice and
quickly let go. If you have something to say, do it after you let go, never hold
another man’s hand while you’re talking to him, never do the endless awkward
shake, never use two hands to shake a man’s hand, never rub his hands or feel
his arms unless you want to get punched on the face.
So there you have it, how to be a real man - Hold tight and
shake hard!
She carries herself with a certain degree of finesse and a complete disregard for what the world might say. She smiles beautiful and her eyes sparkle with coquettish joyful flirtation; I get weak in the knees. It's okay that she doesn't know how to french kiss and id give it up any day for hers, but we do occasionally bitch about the French for inventing something that’s so complicated and unnecessary.
She’s two extremes in a body, never shy to speak her mind. When I look at her I see a halo and a “Piss me off at your own risk” sign. I have made it my personal mission to trespass.
The world demands that relationships be defined but we like the way we pretend there’s nothing going on between us, like a well kept secret everyone knows.
It’s funny how two broken people can fit so well together, I sometimes feel like we were broken intentionally so that we could fit together.
So, do I like her? I don’t think I have any say in it.
There are obviously many sad songs that really grip your
heat and make you want to wail out, sometimes it’s because you share the emotions
of the singer, and every line paints a vivid picture in your head and other
time just because you've gone through the same situation and you connect with
the song at a different level like going back in time to that tragic moment.
This is one of the reasons I can’t live without my music and
I know most readers will agree. Music has a way of calming us down, taking us
to places we’ve never been, make us fall in love with strangers, resurrecting dead
memories and sometimes even make us cry. To be honest when I’m in love or have
a crush my playlist changes to that of mushy love song, when I’m just genuinely
feeling good or angry it’s the good old heavy metal and rock (Add a little bit
of Rap every now and then).
Every mood has its genre of music. When I’m really mad at
someone and feel like eradicating them from the face of the earth but can’t do
that anymore coz I’m a grown ass man and can’t be gangster like I was in
college but really feel like going Hiroshima on their faces, I listen to Rap.
Especially to 2Pac and his angry songs, I imagine I’m him and letting my
automatic rain on them, just the imagination makes me feel good and after a few
songs I’m back to normal. “Hit’em Up” usually does the trick, imaging you are
Pac and the guy you wanna destroy is Biggie and sing along if you know the
lyrics, and see if you’re not smiling by the end of the song. Joygasm!
Any the point of my blog today is sad songs. What are the
top saddest songs I know? Well after a few days of digging deep and going back
in time here’s my list:
1.Hate Me – Blue October
If a girl you really love has
broken up with you because of your drinking habits or maybe drugs etc. or whatever, then
this song will open the floodgates of tears in your eyes. The eerie mixing of
the vocals and the much too honest lyrics about a man broken down to his knees is
enough to silence even the hardest of hearts. This is just the saddest song I know. How can you not feel bad for a guy that's breaking down saying "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me in ways, Yeah ways hard to swallow, Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you"
2.I Saw Red – Warrant
Rumor has it that Jani Lane went
insane after witnessing the scene mentioned in the chorus and was
institutionalized “I saw red, when I opened up the door…and I didn’t need to
see his face, I saw yours, I saw red and then I closed the door, I don’t think
I’m gonna love you anymore” need I say more?
3.I Told You So – Randy Travis
Kids today would appreciate the
Carrie Underwood version more but for men, the sadness and sense of
hopelessness and helplessness in his voice is just so real. It’s no doubt we
hate to be told I told you so by women, but this takes the line to a whole new
level. I’ve experienced this myself so maybe this is why this song is always so
emotional for me.
4.Anthem of the Angels – Breaking Benjamin
If you’ve lost a friend, a family
member or anyone close to you and watched life slip away from them, then this
song will definitely settle home in you. I’ve lost my father, 3 of my uncles and
2 of my closest friends Salim and Johntea and this song always reminds me of
them. Reminds me of how much I loved them and how much they meant to me. My
favorite lines from the song “Hope fills the heart and fades away” this line
takes me back to the time the Doctors would tell us ‘He’s getting better or
responding to treatment’ then sometime later the tragic news of death.
Well that’s all I can think of now, maybe in a few days I’ll
come up with more and add to the list.
An honorable mention:
1. One – Metallica
2. Lucille – Kenny Rogers
3. Walk – Gary Barlow and almost all of Korn’s songs.
As I sit and sluggishly prepare myself for a rather forgetful
Christmas in Delhi this year, I’m forced to wonder “what the fuck went wrong?”,
“Christmas without the family?” I mean just 2 months back (October) I was
happily unwrapping my Christmas tree, had a great time decorating it, and was
already listening to my favorite Christmas songs. Read: NSYNC – Home for
Christmas (Hands down the best Christmas Album)
how did I get from there to here?
I was so excited (always am) with the prospect of meeting my
family and spending quality time with them. Now with Christmas just 3 days away
all the excitement has more or less died. Christmas songs irritate the shit out
of me and to be honest I really feel like packing up the tree and bury it
somewhere never to see the light of day. Yes I said it!
After quite an eventful year, where I and my family have
gone through some of the most traumatic experiences, it would have made sense
for a happy ending but looks like it not to be. Let’s have a look at what 2013
had to offer.
To start with I have missed my flights more
times than I can remember (started with missing my flight home for Christmas
last year).
·I was going to write about the dream job I had
to reject, but I’m very happy where I am so let’s skip to the third.
·I lost a very close friend, a brother and an ex
boss in Pranay. We met on a Saturday night and planned to go out for dinner on Monday
and he passed away that very Monday.
·Our cook who had been with us for close to 10
years brutally murders our Driver (RIP and God bless his soul) in Delhi. Now
this is the kind of shit you watch in movies and read about in crime magazines,
never expecting it would happen to you. All my siblings were convinced our
house was haunted and so we had to shift out of our beautiful bungalow to an apartment
in Vasant Kunj.
·This shift in address meant that I now had to
travel a grueling 45 kilometers everyday to work. That’s 2 hours going and 2
coming home.
·Endless nightmares about the murder and strange occurrences
that always seem to happen around 4 am (time of the murder) coupled with my
high blood pressure sent me into depression. The solution – Meet a shrink! More
pills for anxiety, depression, sleeping pills, BP pills etc. but I’m glad to
say that as of December I’m out of all medication except for the BP. lets move on this subject is way too depressing.
·Then comes the election. The endless hours and
months of strategizing our campaign, designing websites, organizing events and
yes the TVCs (My uncle is the president of MPC – Mizoram Peoples Conference). I
made 2 really nice TVCs hoping people would connect with the problem of bad
roads and bad electricity. But then yet again all these did not translate to
votes and our party the MDA (MNF and MPC) got 7 seats out of 40 and congress as
always taking absolute majority.
·Losing an election is like getting your heart
ripped off, because of the time and energy you spend on it, needless to say the
money that goes to waste and the sacrifices that you make. It still hurts like
yesterday so I won’t go any further.
·Because of the many holidays that I’ve taken
this year for the Murder, the Depression and the Election Campaign etc. I dint
have the balls to apply for more leave to go home for Christmas and partially
because of the excessively ridiculous flight rates.
·So I’m more or less forced to spend this
Christmas here in Delhi with my buddy Joe. And to make things worse we don’t have
girlfriends. Not that were looking out but you know, its winter, its cold at
night and alcohol can only warm you so much and ummm… come on, it’s Christmas
time! Spread the love? No love? Only seeds? Lol J/k. (Sometimes I don’t even
know why I say the things I say).
Neway I shall count my blessings another day, for now I’m an
angry man lashing out at the world because ummm… the Grinch stole my Christmas!
That bastard!
So here's my Christmas plan. Drink to my hearts content and pass out early. Maybe watch the Arsenal vs Chelsea match, which I doubt we'll win given the recent or rather usual December sluggishness in form. but hell even if we lose, it gives me more reason to mourn our loss with another round of drinks. Maybe that's what being a true blue means, a blue December. I hate Christmas!
Ever wondered what your favorite place is? I asked a few
people and they gave me some pretty vague answers, while there were a few that didn't
even have a favorite place some had pretty interesting answers. One person said
the toilet, coz that was the only place he found peace and quiet. (I can just imaging him stressed out and sitting on the commode). One person said the
balcony of his house and the rest said their bed room. One person said the
kitchen, as cooking releases her stress.
Well For me it’s my Car!I drive a not too fancy Ford Fusion which I bought about 4 years ago and I love the engine and power, but a it's a gas guzzler. You would not believe the amount I spend on Gas (Petrol) every month, about 15k yes you read it right 15 thousand Fucking Rupees, that's 300 $ for you Americans. But regardless of this I still Love my Car.
Since I spend almost close to 4 hours commuting to and from
work, my car is my favorite place in the whole wide world. *Bragging Alert:
Which is why I spent a lot of money on my music system in my car so far it’s
come close to 60k. I know a lot of people spend more than I do, but this is all I can afford to right now. All in all there's a total of 9 speakers in my car :-)
Why you ask? Well its because I love my music and its the only place where I can Max out to Pantera, Megadeth, Avenged Sevenfold etc. or maybe Backstreet boys and the likes of them, who knows...lol
I admit I do listen to all of them. Yes from the likes of the bands mentioned above to Jackson Browne, The Coors, 2 Pac, Danger Danger, Rick Price I could go on forever.
Now think of this this way if a grown ass man like me gets in the zone (Lungleng) and you start blasting Rick Prices' "Heaven Knows" or "Too Serious too Soon" by Gareth Gates, and you're singing your heart out holding a torch light as a makeshift microphone, your folks are probably gonna question your mental health. Then again if you start blasting "I'm Broken" by Pantera or "Last Resort" by Papa Roach they start labeling you as a rebel. And they start yelling turn than damn volume down!
Which is why I spent so much on my car stereo just so I get to listen to the rock/metal songs I want as loud as I want to, or sing along to my KC&JOJO, Backstreet Boys track without embarrassing myself . And screw you I know you all secretly know their songs too!
So here's the hardware setup:
For my stereo I bought a humble JVC KW-R600BT Series, it was the cheapest of the 2 din lot so I just got it, No questions asked.
For my front door speakers I had bought pioneers speakers with tweeters (non component) and was not satisfied with it so I switched it to a more powerful JBL GTO609C Series. And these fuckers are loud as hell :-)
For my rear door speakers I had Sony and wasn't satisfied with it either, so I switched that it again to JBL GTO 949 400 watt and a modest JBL GT6-s266 220 watt Speakers on the back tray.
Rear Door Speakers
Rear Tray Speakers
Nothing kicks ass more that Kicker so for my woofers I decided to get the Kicker PT8 Active Subwoofer 8". These may look small but they pump the bass up to unprecedented levels. Once I bent over and sat on my Kicker Woofer and played "Down with the sickness" By Disturbed and it actually felt like someone was kicking my ass. If i had sat through the song I'd have surely had a sore ass!
Now nothing would be complete without an amplifier to bring all these bad boys together. So since I was really broke by the time I had to buy an Amplifier, I chose the 4 Channel Kenwood KAC-7005PS. And boy am I Pleased with this beauty, my only complain is that it really only starts kicking in when the volume is above 9.
And finally for the finishing touch i bought the JVC Bluetooth Adapter just to make life easier.
(And that is how my car looks like. iPhone 5 camera sucks monkey balls in low light.)
Now you pump the volume up to 25 and listen to Pantera your balls start bouncing to the beat of the drums. One time I played a song so loud the girl sitting next to me's bra strap ripped open (true story). She was like Damn your car is loud, I pulled a smirk and said that how I roll babe! and woke up!
And what really annoys me is when people insist in playing their songs in my car! Damnit its my Car My Music My Rules. If you request to play your music in my car you are automatically blacklisted and branded a communist! that's it Period!
Anyway I had nothing better today that why this post came up! Have a great day
P.s. +Mami Pautu is a Communist
Well after a heavy night of drinking, I woke up early and hungover and bored as hell as everyone else were still sleeping so, I decided to go out and upgrade my car speakers yet again, :-)
I ditched my old JBL tray speakers and installed the Rockfort Fosgate 300 watt Speakers on the tray and also added 2 more tweeters on the door panel. Now that's a whooping 11 speakers in my car. I Challenge anyone who can get a louder sound than me!
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