Saturday, July 21, 2012

Men Against Chocolates

After going through a gruelling root canal treatment this week (and still undergoing), I decided to treat myself to a nice bar of chocolate and I remembered reading somewhere that when women eat chocolates, it releases the same hormones as orgasm does (apparently which is why it’s called food sex). DAFAQ! Why only women? Just so unfair!

Anyway I’ve been told I have an over active imagination, but what I realized is that this, if true, is alarmingly bad news for us men. It could change everything. It could flip our world! Women wouldn’t need us as much as they do now. Imagine if they start popping a concentrated chocolate pill every time they’re in the zone, you’d look pretty much like an idiot, your girl is in the zone and there’s nothing you can do, she don’t need you coz she has chocolate. All you can do is cuddle with her while she has her chocolate.

You’re making out with your girl, getting it on, you’re on top of the world, and right before the best part of it all, she stops you to pop a concentrated chocolate pill. Or maybe you’re in a heated argument with your wife/girlfriend/fiancĂ© etc. you’d think you’re the man until she screams “I don’t need you, I got my chocolate pill”. I could list out a thousand other scenarios on how this concentrated chocolate pill could destroy our lives, but I think you got the picture.

So, maybe as men we need to boycott chocolates and remove them from the face of the planet. I know, I know a lot of you would think I’m crazy, and my theory and scenarios are farfetched and unrealistic. But think hard, don’t these pharmaceutical companies and scientists always jump to opportunities like these and make a concentrated version of it? They found a spider in Brazil with a very strange unholy venom, that when bitten men would have very painful erections for days. And what did they do? They turned it into Viagra, The little blue pill that saved a million marriages, stopped depressed men from killing themselves, gave lonely old people something exciting to do. A blessing for all men!

Now ever since Viagra was invented women have felt left out in the whole sex revolution. They've been very vocal about what they were missing out, with blogs, magazine articles etc. filled with "What about us", "When do we get a pill", "Men are so selfish" (what selfish? go find your own spider with unholy venom). And this chocolate thing if further developed and researched would be the answer for their prayers. But their happiness would lead to our downfall, we would end up with a lot of hardcore feminists, lesbians etc. (I have nothing against them FYI) but too many of them doesn’t sound too good in a man’s world.

So, again, maybe we need to look beyond today and start a war, a campaign to destroy chocolates forever. Let us all come together and find a way to execute this operation smoothly.

What kind of self respecting man eats chocolates anyway!

Monday, July 9, 2012

It's just a SMILE :-)

I wonder what life would be like if no one ever smiled.
There’s a strange divine power in a smile that changes perception, moods and situations. Why do we smile? Or rather why do we frown? (I’m one to talk, coz my art director once asked me “Zakk how come you never smile?” lol). I remember reading somewhere that it takes about 43 muscles to frown but only 17 muscles to smile. So, why frown, when it’s so much easier to smile? Are we as humans sad by default? The statistics go somewhat like this, on an average more people frown, than smile and in between the two, we have the expressionless look. Which means that we somehow, we subliminally choose and give an effort to not smile.

Well a lot of you would be asking why blog about a smile? And to be honest I never really gave it much of a thought until recently, when I met someone who had the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
I had had a very bad day at work, deadline missed on a project, and ten thousand other things, plus the feeling of helplessness. I was so mad I could have stabbed Bambi that day and had the Smurfs for dinner. All I wanted to do was go home, plug-in my guitar, put on some Pantera, have some beer (read Jamie) go crazy and watch this new Van Damme flick I had downloaded - "Dragon Eyes". (Sound’s good doesn’t it?)

Anyhow on my way home, I remembered I had to meet this girl I had known for a while but never actually met. I didn’t really wanna go, coz I was in such a bad mood, but hell I had nothing to lose, already felt like shit and nothing could actually make me feel worse. So I went drove an extra 20 kilometers to meet her.
Boy oh boy, how my plans flipped when I met her. Lol. The plan was I’d fake a smile, chit chat a lil bit and be on my way home to enjoy my awesome de-stressing plan.

Most of you would be quick to judge and say “he’s in love again”, but NO, it’s far from that. I’ve been down that road before, and it’s over now. Don Juan has left the building! She’s a good friend who happens to have the most charming, beautiful and innocently naughty smile. I was mesmerized with her smile; it somehow made me happy and forget that I had a really bad day. I ended up having a great time with her, went home put on some Nora Jones and ended up watching Bambi. (No I didn't)

Now what I realized and started to think about is this. Both happiness and sadness are very contagious, and it’s very important for us to choose which one we choose to project. We should always remember that we directly affect other people’s moods with ours. And just because we have had a bad day, doesn’t mean we spoil others too, when a smile is all it takes to change things. 

Now I have learned how valuable or powerful a simple smile is. I’ve started to smile and forced myself
to smile a little more than usual and have seen some really refreshing changes in me as well. Why just
a few days back a colleague said "Zakk you have a beautiful smile"J. It made my day! Smiled all day long!
I’ve been an angry kid for a long time now, and it hasn’t brought me an ounce of happiness or satisfaction. So maybe this time, I’ll try to get by with a lil help from a smile and see how it goes. J