Saturday, March 21, 2015

Random Ranting

Aren’t we a fucking lazy bunch? Or is it just our complete disregard for others? I read somewhere that India is a nation that’s always in a rush to get somewhere but never on time. Well it’s because we as a nation are fucking lazy and have no respect for others. Seriously, the fucking street sweepers start sweeping the roads at 9 am with their carts parked in the road during rush fucking hour, slowing traffic. Why can’t they do it at 5 AM or maybe 6 AM?

And the worst part is once you've managed to get past the ignorant sweepers of Delhi and enter Noida, you find yourself in another un-necessary traffic  – a Cow/Bull decides, “hmmm... it’s a nice warm morning, I think I’ll take a nap right in the middle of the fucking road. fuck humans”. These are days when you just want to die!

Talk about dying I think a part of me died the day I watched 50 shades - the movie. I actually hated my laptop after watching it. I don’t know why even though it was my decision to watch, I hated my laptop for showing it to me. I have nothing good to say about that fucking movie. And the worst part is I’ve seen movies worse than 50 Shades that gave me a boner at least, that fucking movie just confused my weaner.

As for weaners and all things related to its whereabouts, I think Indian men have the worst toilet etiquette. I have worked in 3 of the biggest companies and trust me the men’s toilet is a nightmare, especially the commode. I have seen footprints on the commode seats and things on them that no man alive needs to see.

And I can never understand why they keep putting sings that say "throw used toilet paper in the dustbin". What are we suppose to just wipe our butt and throw it in the dustbin? It's not a very delightful sight to behold while taking a dump, you know.

I imagine some people playing 'Guess Who's Ass-Wipe' - "The one on top is really light yellow, so it must be Rahul's ass wipe tissue, he was complaining about his stomach from the samosa he had in the morning. The one below it is 2 shades darker..." - Who knows about these thing's.

I for one was brought up by women and they had strict rules for using the toilet, especially my Granny. If I broke the rules I was made to do my business in the makeshift toilet in the garden. 
She had three simple rules:
  •  If you’re going to pee, lift the seat. 
  • When done put it back down. Always flush after use.
  • Think about the next person using it as yourself, so leave it clean.

And I've always carried these things with me, but I guess people grew up differently or maybe they just don’t give a shit. Anyway here's a cat that clearly does not give a shit!

Sometimes I just get so frustrated and tired at the mess we have to go through when we all know that if we stop to care a little about others everything would be better.

Some day India, some day.

Monday, March 16, 2015


She never thought ‘29’ a number so random would bother her so much as she woke up that morning or did she sleep at all. Several intervals of her morning that day was spent in front of the mirror Sherlock Holmes’ing for signs on 29, I think she might have Googled life expectancy and came to no conclusion as to why it bothered her so much. She did her math wondered if what she was feeling was a Mid Life crisis but the numbers proved she was a year or two behind, feeling a little better she thought maybe it’s a quarter Life crisis, but she was 4 or 5 years too late. "Fuck 29" she thought to herself, the world would be a better place without 29, who needs 29? Things would be so much simpler if the counting system went “26,27,28,30…” she didn't like the prospect of 30 after 29 either, but she hated 29 more and the more she thought, the more they looked like evil siblings determined to destroy her youth. Maybe it should just stop at 28…and numbers after that should cease to exist.

Nature seemed to agree with her anger and disgust for 29, as it responded with thunder and rain. She peaked out the window and looked at the gloomy, dark sly. There was nothing happy about this day, nor this number, and everything around her seemed to agree. It didn't help that exactly 29 people called her that morning.
She googled 'facts about 29', as she lit her 29th cigarette of the morning, as she read the first fact, she stubbed her cigarette and closed the page - 29 is the Atomic number of Copper.