Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Cereal Killer at Large

In a shocking incident a man identified as Zakk Sangkima Khiangte, brutally steeped on a cornflake killing it instantly. Witnesses to the gruesome incident described it as a ruthless, meaningless act of violence. One witness who declined to be named said that Mr. Khiangte did not show any sign of regret as he stepped on the helpless corn.


Upon further investigation it was discovered that Mr. Khiangte committed this crime as retaliation for the Dadri killing over beef consumption. He said “ If they can kill a man for supposedly eating beef, why can't I kill. I will continue to kill corn flakes. I have no Regret." So far it is not know if Mr. Khiangte has a political or any religious agenda but this heinous crime has been condemned by all and has triggered strong response from the world over. Although some experts believe that this might be the beginning of a new extremist non veg group.



Members the metal band KORN released a statement condemning the incident and calling it a new form of racism that needs to be addressed. Jonathan Davis, front man the band said "being a Korn myself, I really don't feel safe anymore and we are seriously thinking about ending our world tour. Who knows if there are other cereal killers out there".
                                          Members of Korn embrace on hearing the news.
The BJP has issued a statement condemning the incident, and have promised swift action against the accused. Various vegetarian groups along with the RSS and Shiv Sena have promised a fitting reply to the incident.  


Monday, September 21, 2015

Career Advice For the Uninitiated

So last week I was had lunch with a man who had worked in Amway for 10 years, and as we were talking he said something that pissed me off quite a bit; he said “Mizo boys are useless, lazy and they don’t take their jobs seriously, but Mizo girls are very hardworking”. I did not like the way he was so quick to generalize all of my people, when I know many Mizos boys who work very hard, and hold very respectable positions in top industries.

Anyway that night I thought a lot about what he said, and wondered if there was any truth to it; why and how did he come to such a disturbing conclusion about my bros. I shared the incident on our Mizo bloggers whaatsapp group and we had a very interesting discussion. A lot was said with no real conclusion, but that’s not the topic of my blog today, it may be related but not really (I don’t even know if that made sense). My blog today is an advice to all my Mizo bros as well as non Mizo bros about to start their lives as an independent working man.

I believe that had there been someone to give ‘the guys’ who were unfortunate enough to be labeled lazy, useless and don’t take their jobs seriously, appropriate career advises they would have been better off and this is my attempt to reduce such incidents. So here they are:

Know what you want to do for a living.
I always knew I wanted to be in advertising, but never knew how to get there, so I ended up wasting 2 years of my life doing my MBA and then another useless year working in Samsung finance department till I found my way to advertising. If you’re good at something and you like doing it, go for it. Don’t worry about the finances, it will come one day. It’s better to do what you like than to hate what you do. If you want to be a carpenter, be the best fucking carpenter. There is dignity in labor.

There’s a world beyond Mizoram
Move out of your comfort zone. The best of you will come out when you face challenges and fail over and over again. If you want to start a business, think beyond Mizoram, there’s a whole country and even the world to explore. Holding a government job is good, or a MCS or engineer or doctor, teacher, nurse etc. but so is being a copywriter, designer, game developer, social media strategist, event manager, consultant, so many amazing jobs. I will never understand why everyone I know wants to go back home right after they complete their studies, I want to eventually go back home too, but not until I’ve made my presence felt. I'm not judging but that's just me or maybe its just that there's job for my line of work back home. 

Be confident and show it.
If you show insecurity in the corporate world, the big boys will bully you and eat you alive. If you have an idea, present it with confidence. When you’re introduced to someone, shake their hand firmly; show them you are their equal. Bosses love young, dynamic and confident employees and believe me women like it too. So there 2 birds with one stone.


Stay curious and ask questions
Be nice to everyone from top to bottom level employees. There’s always something to learn from everyone, try to spend time with them and ask questions. There’s so much to learn from people’s lives and experiences. Soak in their culture and learn to think like them. Remember to always stay excited and motivated.

Never say No
Sometimes you will get orders from bosses that may sound/seem impossible to accomplish; but never say No. Try to do it anyway. In your process of failure or success you will learn so much more than your regular “possible” work. You will research more, learn new tricks and your brain will function faster than usual and whether you fail or succeed you will be better at you work EVERYTIME!

Show them what your worth
Like I said before, don’t worry too much about the finances in the beginning, I mean it is important but it’s not everything. If you work hard enough the money will come and when it comes nothing can compare to the feeling. I Started with 5000 a month, spent nights sleeping in the office I worked my ass off, worked on weekends and  never complained, well I did complain (sometimes complaining is fun) but I never gave up. If you work hard enough, companies will give you what you're worth, if they're not, others will. You are what your worth, so keep yourself and your skills sharp.

Stay Creative
Creative doesn’t mean you have to be an advertising expert, be creative in your own line of work. Explore new ways to do things, if it hasn’t been done your way, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Everything can change, every process, every style etc.; there’s always room for change and a better way of doing things. Challenge and question ideas, processes and if you have a better way, present it but never be condescending. Some ideas will be appreciated and most rejected but don’t take it to heart
.
Start Saving
Don't make the same mistake I made of not saving. Start saving from as early, maybe just 500 a month for the first year will do, then when you get a raise increase it to 1000. You will need them for a rainy day. Make a monthly budget of how much you spend on clothes, food and going out for parties and try to stick to the plan.


That’s all I can say for now as I have to get back to work. Oh, and learn the local language it will take you a long way in your life and career. Last but not the least let go of your pride and learn to respect everyone, you will not always have great bosses but respect them and learn as much as you can from them. I have never been in a position where I did not learn something from someone. (I hope i didn't sound too preachy)

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Random Ranting

Aren’t we a fucking lazy bunch? Or is it just our complete disregard for others? I read somewhere that India is a nation that’s always in a rush to get somewhere but never on time. Well it’s because we as a nation are fucking lazy and have no respect for others. Seriously, the fucking street sweepers start sweeping the roads at 9 am with their carts parked in the road during rush fucking hour, slowing traffic. Why can’t they do it at 5 AM or maybe 6 AM?

And the worst part is once you've managed to get past the ignorant sweepers of Delhi and enter Noida, you find yourself in another un-necessary traffic  – a Cow/Bull decides, “hmmm... it’s a nice warm morning, I think I’ll take a nap right in the middle of the fucking road. fuck humans”. These are days when you just want to die!

Talk about dying I think a part of me died the day I watched 50 shades - the movie. I actually hated my laptop after watching it. I don’t know why even though it was my decision to watch, I hated my laptop for showing it to me. I have nothing good to say about that fucking movie. And the worst part is I’ve seen movies worse than 50 Shades that gave me a boner at least, that fucking movie just confused my weaner.

As for weaners and all things related to its whereabouts, I think Indian men have the worst toilet etiquette. I have worked in 3 of the biggest companies and trust me the men’s toilet is a nightmare, especially the commode. I have seen footprints on the commode seats and things on them that no man alive needs to see.

And I can never understand why they keep putting sings that say "throw used toilet paper in the dustbin". What are we suppose to just wipe our butt and throw it in the dustbin? It's not a very delightful sight to behold while taking a dump, you know.

I imagine some people playing 'Guess Who's Ass-Wipe' - "The one on top is really light yellow, so it must be Rahul's ass wipe tissue, he was complaining about his stomach from the samosa he had in the morning. The one below it is 2 shades darker..." - Who knows about these thing's.

I for one was brought up by women and they had strict rules for using the toilet, especially my Granny. If I broke the rules I was made to do my business in the makeshift toilet in the garden. 
She had three simple rules:
  •  If you’re going to pee, lift the seat. 
  • When done put it back down. Always flush after use.
  • Think about the next person using it as yourself, so leave it clean.

And I've always carried these things with me, but I guess people grew up differently or maybe they just don’t give a shit. Anyway here's a cat that clearly does not give a shit!


Sometimes I just get so frustrated and tired at the mess we have to go through when we all know that if we stop to care a little about others everything would be better.

Some day India, some day.

Monday, March 16, 2015

29

She never thought ‘29’ a number so random would bother her so much as she woke up that morning or did she sleep at all. Several intervals of her morning that day was spent in front of the mirror Sherlock Holmes’ing for signs on 29, I think she might have Googled life expectancy and came to no conclusion as to why it bothered her so much. She did her math wondered if what she was feeling was a Mid Life crisis but the numbers proved she was a year or two behind, feeling a little better she thought maybe it’s a quarter Life crisis, but she was 4 or 5 years too late. "Fuck 29" she thought to herself, the world would be a better place without 29, who needs 29? Things would be so much simpler if the counting system went “26,27,28,30…” she didn't like the prospect of 30 after 29 either, but she hated 29 more and the more she thought, the more they looked like evil siblings determined to destroy her youth. Maybe it should just stop at 28…and numbers after that should cease to exist.

Nature seemed to agree with her anger and disgust for 29, as it responded with thunder and rain. She peaked out the window and looked at the gloomy, dark sly. There was nothing happy about this day, nor this number, and everything around her seemed to agree. It didn't help that exactly 29 people called her that morning.
She googled 'facts about 29', as she lit her 29th cigarette of the morning, as she read the first fact, she stubbed her cigarette and closed the page - 29 is the Atomic number of Copper. 

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

A Sense Of Pride

There’s a sense of pride in being the first to have a girlfriend among childhood friends
There’s a sense of pride in telling people how many girlfriends you've
There’s a sense of pride in having broken a heart or two…maybe more
There’s a sense of pride in having survived a heart break you thought you never would
There’s a sense of pride in starting a new life
There’s a sense of pride in saying she’s my girlfriend
There’s a sense of pride in saying “I love you” once again
There’s a sense of pride in saying “she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with”
There’s a sense of pride in saying  “She’s my fiancĂ©”
There’s a sense of pride in saying “She’s my wife”
There’s a sense of pride when saying “I am what I am today because of her”
There’s a sense of pride in saying that “she’s the mother of my child”
But all of these pale in comparison to the pride you feel in realizing that she chose you.