My Delhi :'-(

They say you can only love as much as you can hate. Delhi I have loved you so much, for all your tantrums and shenanigans, for all your mystery, quaint acquaintances and for all the beautiful surprises. I have many a times been a passionate defender of why you are the best city in India. I have traveled the world, but never have I seen a city that matches you in grandeur, culture, beauty and splendor. And as I sit here writing this, I can’t help but feel betrayed and confused, wondering why you have to scar all your best memories with this unforgiving one that make me detest you. 

The truth is, I don’t mind hating you, because I can make do with hate, I can learn to ignore hate, I can learn to suppress hate. Plus for everything I hate about you, you always throw something wonderful back that balances things out. 

I hate you for the relentless summer heat, the endless traffic jams and rash driving. I hate you for the stench of urine that comes from every other corner. I hate you for the auto drivers ever so ready to fleece commuters local and foreign alike. I could list down a million things I hate and can live with about you, but for the rapes and appalling attacks on women...I’m ashamed of you. 

I’m ashamed that this crime against humanity, this gruesome rape will too in time be nothing more than an incident that shook the city and not one that changed the city. I’m ashamed of you because I cannot hate you for this incident. I cannot hate you, because I cannot ignore this diabolic act that happens ever so often. I cannot hate you because I cannot make do with this incident, I have sisters, friends and family in the city that trusts you with their lives and you cannot protect them. I’m ashamed of you because you will yet again fail to do anything right about this incident but mostly because I cannot suppress this fear of ’what if…?’.  

For fifteen years, we’ve had our romance, Delhi you and I. I came as a boy with nothing but a dream and you made a man out of me, gave me a home and foundation to build my dream. And it saddens me now that I have to pause and think twice every time someone asks me where I’m from, when it usually comes out swift with pride. 

The Root of the Great Indian Accent Finally Uncovered!

I have always wondered why we Indians have such a thick accent when it comes to spoken English. Even if a person has been living in the US, Australia or UK for over 10/20, you always get hints of the typical Indian accent every once in a while. Then I realized that we're not alone, our European, African, Latino, and Asian brothers and sisters too have very unique accents.

(Without any disrespect intended, I think Latinos have the thickest accent when it comes to English followed by Chinese then Indian and I still insist that the Jamaican accent is the coolest accent ever, women still feel that ze French is ze sexiest, I have no clue why). 

I cant guarantee that its a 100% correct, but I'd like to think that I’ve finally uncovered why we Indians have this thick accent, why we pronounce certain words very differently and why its stuck with us throughout our lives.

We all know that a child's kindergarten years are the most crucial years when it comes to learning and developing language, teach them right and they will get it right from then on. Teach them wrong, and for lack of a better word, you will see that they're f*&#d for life! (Not literally of course). 

So from my in depth research, I have come to a conclusion that it’s because of the way we have been taught the very basics of the English language - ABC. 

The Eureka Moment:

I was reading something and could not pronounce this one word right. So I looked up the dictionary and it made me laugh, because the way it was spelled and the way it was supposed to be pronounced was very different. So with the reassuring "No one could have got that right" smirk, I proceeded to confidently read on. Later that day, I started putting together a few words we so horrifically pronounce and started visualizing on the root of the problem. That's when I had my Eureka moment (and no I wasn't naked, so you can stop visualizing on that part). 

The Scenario:
Now imaging kids sitting in a classroom being taught ABC the way I visualized it, and you will understand why the poor buggers are scarred for life:
1. They're never gonna get their pronunciations right
2. All the wrong pronunciations put together, will form a very bad accent
3. They're never going to get their spellings right

A for Aarange (Orange)
B for Bhalue (Value)
C for Sea food
D for dabblew dabblew F (WWF)
E for Ediot (Idiot)
F for feciency (efficiency)
G for Guce (Juice)
I for eye
J for Jeebra (Zeebra)
k for kartoon (Cartoon)
L for L-luminium (aluminum)
M for M-menem (Eminem)
N for Ntertainment (Entertainment)
O for oppostrophy (apostrophe)
P for phorain (Foreign), Phlawer (flower)
R for R-ban (Urban)
S for S-cart (Escort)
T for Trink (Drink) mainly by the Nagas and Manipuris
U for Urope (Europe)
V for Velcome (Welcome)
W for Wee (V), Channel V is often pronounced as Channel Wee (North Indians)
X for Excident (Accident)
Y for Yendian (Indian), this is typically south Indian accent
Z for Zoker (Joker), This is common in the North East (especially Mizos)

Even though I am extremely proud of my profound observation and discovery, I find myself in a new dilemma. If this is the cause of our Indian accent…what about the Chinese, the French etc.? How do they teach ABC to their kids for them to have an accent like they do? One can only wonder...

The Fine Art of Drinking. Cheers!

No shame about admitting that I love my drink. And anyone who knows me well will know about my 

love for Single Malt and what I would do for it (but that’s another story we will get into in the times to come).           A lot of people have asked me, and even been quite irritated on how choosy and insistent I

can get on how I like my drink. And guilty as charged, I like my drinks a certain way, depending on their 

type (single/blended/Indian), how much they cost and how much there is to drink.

So how do I like my drink?

Simple, The way they’re meant to be had! :-)

What’s the best way to enjoy a good glass of whiskey or scotch? (They’re the same)

1. Well to start with, the glasses in which you drink them needs to be ummm….for
   lack of better word tulip shaped. This shape traps the aromas and the flavors.
   Why? Good whiskey/scotch is meant to be enjoyed so we tend to take smaller
   sips and hold it for a longer period of time and the shape of the glass ensures that
   we get the same aroma and flavors right to the last sip. This is especially important for single malts.                                                                                         
2. Good whiskey/scotch is not made to be diluted with water and best drank neat. But different people have their way of drinking it. For me, if it’s above Rs. 3500 I drink neat. Anything below that with Ice. And anything below Rs. 1000 with ice and a dash of water.

·         Neat: Slant your glass as you pour it in. Don’t over pour, a good amount is 50/60 ml. Swirl/stir slowly to let the aroma and flavors out.

·         On the rocks: Put in about 3/4 rocks in the glass first. Gently pour your malt over it in a circular motion. This motion cools the scotch, opens it up to release the aroma and flavors, it also makes a consistent mix of water and scotch. If you hold your drink for a while between sips, remember to stir it before every sip.

·         A Dash of Water: Opinions differ on this. Many people will add water to a good scotch some don’t. It’s really a very personal matter of choice and how you like it. Just remember the 1/5 rule. Meaning the water you add should only be 1/5 of the amount you pour. Roughly 20%.

·         Drowning the Rocks: Add about 4 rocks, pour in your cheap whiskey, then add water exactly or a little over the amount of the cheap whiskey you just poured. And try to enjoy your drink.

·         Soda: Some people like their drinks with soda, I don’t understand why. The soda distorts everything that’s good about the scotch.

·         With Coke/Pepsi or Juice: F*&k you! Go have a glass of vodka or JD. Don’t even continue reading this and get out of my blog. Scram…vamoose! Mixing good scotch with the likes of coke and juice is blasphemous and offends me to no limits. I get so mad when I very courteously offer to make someone a drink and they ask me to mix the scotch with Coke or juice (especially women). Do you also drink you tea and coffee with salt? DAMMIT!

So there you go ladies and gentlemen. You now know how to enjoy a good glass of fine whiskey/scotch.
Now, my less discerning friends would ask, how do we drink Indian whiskey like Royal Stag, Signature, Blenders Pride etc.? I suggest you follow my strategy. Since there’s nothing really nice worth mentioning,
just enjoy the getting drunk part. But I do recommend you give Rockford a try. It's not bad at all for a whiskey under Rs.1000.

Tip: Since the spirit can be rather overwhelming, I suggest you opt for soda with these drinks and have some snacks to nibble on the side.

Caution:

The liver takes about 4 hours to digest a glass of Alcohol (which causes weakness and hangover the next day) so watch how much you drink. I suggest you have a slice of cheese or drink an hour or two after dinner. And make sure you take at least 3 glasses of water before sleeping (Trust me on this).
Remember to enjoy your drink responsibly, and call a cab if you’re out. Cheers it’s Friday! 

The Look - With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.

In the arms of a woman and a woman alone do we find strength, contentment and empowerment!
There’s nothing more empowering than to have a woman lying in your arms looking up to you with her eyes so full of love. That look, if you've ever had it, you will know what I'm talking about. That look so pure in emotion, makes you think twice about a lot of things. 

Many make the best of it and move up in life to become great husbands and successful men. But others succumb to The Look and end up breaking hearts after hearts and in time their own. When a woman gives you the look, you should know she’s ready for the next stage and that’s to get married, have kids, build a home, grow old with you, be with you till death do you part.

Women talk a lot! Even when they’re not talking they’re constantly, silently talking to you. Sometimes it’s irritating, sometimes funny and sometimes romantic. (Dare you ignore the signs!) And one of the most powerful and potentially life changing communication, is one that does not involve a word, not a syllable, no hand gesture but a look-The Look!  

The Look: When a woman looks at you her head resting on your arms, a look of contentment. She knows how vulnerable, fragile she is at that very moment. Her fragile heart in your hands, her entire life to spend with you. You could break it and make her life from then on a recurring nightmare or you could treasure it. She has asked analysed the scenarios, the pros and cons in her head a million times. She knows about your lousy excuses and the lies you so often meticulously plan just to hang out with your buddies, or to escape shopping with her. She knows about the dubious names that makes no sense on your contact list. She knows about your secret stash of magazines and CD’s (maybe vintage VHS) or that tola of weed/hashish you've been saving for a rainy day-she just chose to ignore it!

With that look she has stopped judging you, your flaws, your short comings, your past and the mistakes you made and will so often continue to make, are all but a thing of the past. With that look she tells you everything you're not is what makes you special to her and her alone. With that look she assures you that she has your back no matter what. With that look she accepts you as her man, protector, provider, her pillar of strength.  

That look can make you feel like a man, work harder, be stronger, achieve great things or leave you grasping for a walking stick to support your spineless ass. You can choose to look back with your own re assuring eyes, silently telling her “You’re safe with me, I won’t let you go” or you could choose to do otherwise. With great power comes great responsibility. Embrace The Look.

DECEMBER

It was a cold December evening. It was the evening my last surviving uncle passed away, it was also Christmas Eve. Cold cold December my differences with you will take a while to settle.

As I sit and watch the last week of November pass, I wait in anticipation for December with all its spirit to engulf me, like so many Decembers or yesteryears I remember. The Christmas carols, the family dinners, the presents under the Christmas tree, the parties. But flashes of one cold and unwelcome memory come blowing like a cold Siberian blizzard, relentless in its course.

My winter clothes are yet see the light of day and already I feel as cold as I can ever feel. I wonder if they were out, would they serve their purpose? Who, what can shelter a fragile heart from the freezing cold of emptiness? A sense of numbness creeps over my skin as I look at the month to come. How frighteningly empty and cold can a month so full of hope look? What madness? What contrast to the nature and purpose it symbolizes.

No, I do not long for reconciliation, nor closure with you. I have had mine, in stages, in pieces and in retrospection. There’s no love nor is there hatred, just a fleeting fear of December. They say lightning never strikes twice in the same place, so fear not. But would you stand again right where you were struck in a lightning storm? 

Many have come and gone, I have found my peace and my heart and head settled. There’s nothing more I could ask of this life, for all these blessings. I have been given more than I deserve, but yet He does not take this from me. “You can take away my heroes, but can you take away my pain?” says a song. Very rarely in life do you question the foundations of everything you ever believed in.

But as I contemplate on our history, I fear that I cannot escape our encounter. As surely as night follows day will you come with aplomb. We shall have our dance, December you and I. But I have prepared for you. You have done your worst, but I haven’t been defeated yet. So rather than creepily shy away from you, let me welcome you to do your worst again, but might I warn you, I come prepared! So hear my battle cry               ........................................................."Cowabungaaaaaaaaaaa Bitch"...........................................................

My top 10 Power Ballads of all Time

I feel lucky to have been born in the 80’s if not for anything else but the music we grew up listening to. The earliest memory I have of rock music was in the late 80’s when we were still living in Kulikon Aizawl. I don’t remember very clearly who it was specifically, but it was either my dad or one of my uncles that used to play “Twisted Sister – Were not gonna take it”. I loved that song, I didn't know English at all, so I would make up the words and just rock to it. We didn't even have cassettes back then so all the music we had were the good old vinyl records. I remember our sitting room drawers and shelves’ filled with these records.

So anyway, I think the 80’s and the 90’s were the best era for music especially rock, but I must admit the disco guys had it good too. Some of the best songs were released in this era, from party anthems to timeless rock ballads we had it all. I can still picture parties where people would rock it out to tracks like “Come on feel the noise by Quiet Riot”, “We will rock you - Queen” etc. The best part about this era was that both men and women were listening to the same genre of music ROCK, the only difference was that the guys would listen to heavy metal and the women hated it, but we were one and united in ROCK, until the NKOTB fever destroyed everything. 

My first love letter had a few lines from Warrant’s Heaven hahahaha 

its funny when I look back now but man those power ballads would make my hair stand and give me goosebumps. Being in love and listening to these songs could not be compared to anything I had ever felt before, it was like we were one, the songs and me. Which is why songs like “You’re all I need, Till death do us part – White Lion, Hold on to my heart, If you need somebody – Bad Company, Have you ever needed some - Def Leppard etc.” will always have a special place in my heart. So without further ado, here’s my list of the top 10 best Power Ballads of all time.

10. Is this Love – White Snake
9. Amanda – Boston (If you're in love with someone & you need to let them know, this song will do the trick)
8. I Need You Now – Alias
7. I Can’t Live Without Your Love & Affection – Nelson
6. Every Rose has Its Thorn – Poison
5. I Remember You – Skid Row
4. Till Death Do Us Part – White Lion (I used to picture myself getting married to this song)
3. I Want You – Bon Jovi (One of the best underrated power ballads from Bon Jovi)
2. Hold on to my Heart – Bad Company/ Open Arms – Journey (a tie coz these 2 songs are equally awesome)
1. Faithfully – Journey
Hands down the best Power Ballad of all time from the gurus themselves - Journey. I don’t know anyone who doesn't like this song, Steve Perry’s heart melting voice, coupled with Neal Schon’s melodic guitar and brutally honest lyrics from Jonathan Cain, makes this song the best in my list. A masterpiece, enough said!

BLUE BLOOD

It’s hard for me to not get emotional and nostalgic when I talk about the best football club in the universe, Chelsea Fc. Absolutely not in terms of trophies and league titles won, but in terms of the way they inspire me to have become who I am today. I can honestly say that my favourite club had a pivotal role in the shaping of the man that I have become.

My love affair with Chelsea Fc. started almost immediately after I started following the EPL, I think it was around 1998-2000. Before that I hated the premier league because it was just too predictable with Man United winning almost every year. My attention shifted Spain where Deportivo were just killing Barca and Madrid, and they even won the la liga that year to become the smallest city in Spain to have won the title (anyone remember Djalminha, Fran, Roy Makkay? I was so inspired by the David vs. Goliath story of Deportivo, but I hated the Spanish style of playing. I loved the faster more physical game of the EPL, but I just didn’t have a team that I could say was an extension of me. Man U was for losers and women (Come on they had Beckham), Arsenal were…ummmm… al right  Liverpool were…Liverpool!

Being a fan Zola I decided to pledge my allegiance to Chelsea, but little did I know that I would fall in love with the club. Over the years great players have come and gone, we have shown promises and glimpse of brilliance and on many occasions had the title at a hands reach, only to let it slip away. This is very human in nature; to almost be there and falter. And I have said it many times over, “Being a Chelsea fan is frustrating”.  But all these heart breaks and disappointments is what brought me closer to the club. There have been so many times I almost reached my dreams, but because of a single moment of carelessness let it slip away. Right from my high school days I was always labelled as a promising young chap. Well spoken, good manners, good in studies from a decent family, but somehow I never really lived to any of these labels. I was a rebel without a cause. I remember selling all my books right before the final exams when I was in 10^th grade and also the final year of my college. I don’t know why I did it, but I just did. I guess it was the expectation to be great that scared me and pressured me. And I realize now that I was running away from it all. But enough of my short comings for now, and back to why Chelsea Fc.?

You see all those times that I was struggling with myself, trying to find my identity was the time Chelsea we’re looking for their championship. People made fun of Chelsea Fc. coz they were neither good nor bad, they were neither a championship team nor a bottom half team. Now you would ask why go for a team that wasn’t winning anything? Well coz I wasn’t winning anything either, I was still a smart kid with no direction. We (Chelsea and me) had potential, but lacked the experience, drive and determination. And it was this very human nature of the Club that made me fall in love with it. Plus everyone I knew were either Man United, Arsenal, Liverpool and New Castle fans and I, as always wanted to be different. 

I know that my statements may make Chelsea sound uninspiring but believe me they’re not. Look at what we've achieved, after years and years of struggling, we finally got our due. It takes time to be a champion, you have to fall, crawl your way back up and fall again. You have to get your dreams shattered, hearts broken, make mistakes, be laughed at, be told that you can’t do it and finally rise above it all.

I’m excited to be where I am today and where we as a football club are, as much as I’m excited about the challenges that lay ahead. Expectations are high, critics come in hoards and haters in flocks. I know the road is tough and maybe I will fall again, Chelsea may lose the title, come close and falter again, maybe we’ll stay champions and win ever possible cup and maybe we won’t, but we will never stop fighting, never back down and forever keep the blue flag flying high!