My Delhi :'-(

They say you can only love as much as you can hate. Delhi I have loved you so much, for all your tantrums and shenanigans, for all your mystery, quaint acquaintances and for all the beautiful surprises. I have many a times been a passionate defender of why you are the best city in India. I have traveled the world, but never have I seen a city that matches you in grandeur, culture, beauty and splendor. And as I sit here writing this, I can’t help but feel betrayed and confused, wondering why you have to scar all your best memories with this unforgiving one that make me detest you. 

The truth is, I don’t mind hating you, because I can make do with hate, I can learn to ignore hate, I can learn to suppress hate. Plus for everything I hate about you, you always throw something wonderful back that balances things out. 

I hate you for the relentless summer heat, the endless traffic jams and rash driving. I hate you for the stench of urine that comes from every other corner. I hate you for the auto drivers ever so ready to fleece commuters local and foreign alike. I could list down a million things I hate and can live with about you, but for the rapes and appalling attacks on women...I’m ashamed of you. 

I’m ashamed that this crime against humanity, this gruesome rape will too in time be nothing more than an incident that shook the city and not one that changed the city. I’m ashamed of you because I cannot hate you for this incident. I cannot hate you, because I cannot ignore this diabolic act that happens ever so often. I cannot hate you because I cannot make do with this incident, I have sisters, friends and family in the city that trusts you with their lives and you cannot protect them. I’m ashamed of you because you will yet again fail to do anything right about this incident but mostly because I cannot suppress this fear of ’what if…?’.  

For fifteen years, we’ve had our romance, Delhi you and I. I came as a boy with nothing but a dream and you made a man out of me, gave me a home and foundation to build my dream. And it saddens me now that I have to pause and think twice every time someone asks me where I’m from, when it usually comes out swift with pride.