I'm Back After Seven Years!

So it’s been almost 6 or 7 years since I’ve blogged, marriage and parenting had taken up 125% of my time. But inspired by my good friend and fellow blogger Kima De Mizohican who never stopped, I’ve decided to give it a go again. To be brutally honest the past year has not been very kind to me and my family. Those of you that know, know. But for those who don’t, it’s not worth looking into. Anyway to help me get past all the drama, I decided to learn how to write “Haiku” (A haiku is a short, unrhymed Japanese poem that's made up of three lines and 17 syllables. The syllables are arranged in a 5-7-5 pattern, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third). I’ve spent many days, reading, writing, scrapping, re-writing ughhh…. But so far here are 4 that I feel I’m confident enough to share. Please note that it’s a work in progress and I will get better. Thanks 1. Birds chirping wake me Sad happy angry and alone Each day a new day? 2. Bottle is my vice Bourbon burbles down the ice Cheers to my troubles 3. Sunset glistening Behold nature’s resplendence But dark is the night 4 . She thought I’m gorgeous! Inanimate mirror is Dog peed on tree trunk

Life after Marriage Part 1

Hello there everyone, I know it’s been a while since I last updated my blog and it is inexcusable, blasphemous perhaps, but I do have a valid reason, well, you see…(Let the drum rolls begin) I got married! Yes, I got married to my long time girlfriend and love of my life Hazel Kharkongor in Aizawl, Mizoram. I’ll put a few pictures from the wedding in the end. Maybe I’ll blog about the wedding and the comedy of errors, but todays blog is about the No.1 question people ask me after the wedding – What’s it like getting married? How has life changed? And this is my attempt to answer the question and maybe a lot of young unmarried men will find helpful and hopefully learn a thing or two.

For me since my wife and I were living together for close to 3 years before we got married, I always thought ‘nothing much would change after we get married’. For me it was just a legal/social formality and things would be the same. A man could never have been more wrong! But anyway here a few things I’ve noticed along with a few advice for the unfortunate ones about to take the plunge.

1. After you get married, you will realize that nothing really belongs to you anymore. Yes you read that right NOTHING! You might have bought it, but it’s not yours. This is how it goes - So I bought an iPad last month, coz I hate carrying my laptop when traveling or giving presentations etc. I brought it home and as soon as I showed it to her she said ‘thanks babe’ and I haven’t touched or used it since.
2.  You can’t do the things you casually did before you got married, like order pizza whenever you feel like eating pizza. Last Friday as usual I was laying on my couch after a long days work watching a movie and as always there were a couple of scenes where the actors were eating pizza. I thought to myself ‘hmmm it’s been a while since I had a pizza’ so I quickly opened my Zomato app and ordered a Yellow Cab Special thin crust pepperoni pizza, from NYC Pie (the best place to have Pizza) and continued watching my movie. After about 30 mins the wife is done with her cooking, and just as she's about to sit, the delivery boy rings the doorbell, she goes to open it and what followed after that was rather confusing for me. There was an extreme contrast in our facial expressions and emotions, I was hungry and delighted to have my pizza she was confused and angry that I ordered a pizza. Needless to say, I didn’t get my lemonade or my breakfast the next morning.
   
3. You can’t watch the things you like to watch anymore as much as you used to.
   I like watching football and UFC, but since the EPL season is off for now, I usually watch UFC fights or podcasts on youtube etc. So whenever we have an argument or she’s upset with me, she tells me ‘You don’t even watch movies with me anymore’, ‘why cant you watch movies which even I can enjoy, all you do is watch UFC’. So I felt guilty and last week I took her out on a movie date to watch Spiderman Homecoming - She fell asleep for the entire first half of the movie. Women I tell you!

      Any that’s it for now, I have a lot more to share but I have to go home now to my sweet loving wife. Here are a few pictures hope you enjoy them. Cheers!

Liberation!

First off all I think calling a grown ass man a couch-potato is just plain hateful. Why would you do that? I mean it’s a conscious decision to be one, so why judge him and start with the name calling. It’s downright offensive and you people should stop it.

Now having said that, as many of my friends and relatives would know, I am notoriously difficult to get out of the house on a weekend or on a holiday.  Why? Because I’ve worked all week and I need the 2 days off for myself, to catch up on new movies and TV shows etc. Which is why I end up spending the entire weekend on the couch, getting up only to eat, crap, piss and change movies on my laptop which I connect to my TV using an HDMI cable.

Look at that infinite space between the couch and the laptop. Lord help me!

Now, if you’ve ever been in a situation where after every 2 hours you need to get your ass up, crawl to the laptop, change movies, crawl back and re-position yourself on the couch, it gets annoying and too much work to do in 2 days. So, I decided I needed to fix this and started looking at wireless keyboard and mouse on Amazon. There were some pretty nice ones out there, but they were all a little too big. I’d probably have to place the laptop on my belly and hold the mouse with my hand etc. etc. too much work, to many moving parts and way too much action for my liking. So I delved deeper into Amazon for a better alternative until I found this little piece of wonder.

NewestMini Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard Handheld with Touchpad for Android 4.0 +Tablet / Mac OS / Windows OS. Click to view on Amazon.

Did a little more research on it and found that Lew from Unbox Therapy had reviewed it and highly recommended it.

So what did I do? Logged on to Amazon and bought it, yes sir I did. paid a full Rs. 2099 for it.

After anxiously waiting for 5 days my package finally arrived around 4:30 in the afternoon, but I was a little pissed off that it came on a Sunday. Dammit, I had only half a day to enjoy this bad boy. So much to do, so less time. Nevertheless I opened it with tears of joy rolling down my eyes.

All I had to do now was, turn on the Bluetooth on my laptop and pair it with this little device and voila, I was back in control of my life. It functions like a full fledged keyboard with all commands and the touchpad does the work of a mouse. The battery is pretty good, you only have to charge it once a week sometimes once in 2 weeks. We have come a long way, when it comes to technology almost everything's wireless now and I for one hate wires, they all black and messy and look like pubes. I like the clean look, I mean when it comes to the whole, media entertainment set up. (To each his/her own)

Anyway after this amazing discovery, I will never have to get up from the couch except to shit and piss. (Next mission is to train the girlfriend to give me food and water on the couch)

Tested it and it works like a charm, the touch pad is responsive, keypad takes some getting used to but it serves my purpose. It’s light and decently built too. I pretend to fall asleep with it on my belly and I hardly felt it. Needless to say, I highly recommend it. Cheers.

Don’t Judge me.

Cereal Killer at Large

In a shocking incident a man identified as Zakk Sangkima Khiangte, brutally steeped on a cornflake killing it instantly. Witnesses to the gruesome incident described it as a ruthless, meaningless act of violence. One witness who declined to be named said that Mr. Khiangte did not show any sign of regret as he stepped on the helpless corn.

Upon further investigation it was discovered that Mr. Khiangte committed this crime as retaliation for the Dadri killing over beef consumption. He said “ If they can kill a man for supposedly eating beef, why can't I kill. I will continue to kill corn flakes. I have no Regret." So far it is not know if Mr. Khiangte has a political or any religious agenda but this heinous crime has been condemned by all and has triggered strong response from the world over. Although some experts believe that this might be the beginning of a new extremist non veg group.

Members the metal band KORN released a statement condemning the incident and calling it a new form of racism that needs to be addressed. Jonathan Davis, front man the band said "being a Korn myself, I really don't feel safe anymore and we are seriously thinking about ending our world tour. Who knows if there are other cereal killers out there".

                                          Members of Korn embrace on hearing the news.

The BJP has issued a statement condemning the incident, and have promised swift action against the accused. Various vegetarian groups along with the RSS and Shiv Sena have promised a fitting reply to the incident.  

Career Advice For the Uninitiated

So last week I was had lunch with a man who had worked in Amway for 10 years, and as we were talking he said something that pissed me off quite a bit; he said “Mizo boys are useless, lazy and they don’t take their jobs seriously, but Mizo girls are very hardworking”. I did not like the way he was so quick to generalize all of my people, when I know many Mizos boys who work very hard, and hold very respectable positions in top industries.

Anyway that night I thought a lot about what he said, and wondered if there was any truth to it; why and how did he come to such a disturbing conclusion about my bros. I shared the incident on our Mizo bloggers whaatsapp group and we had a very interesting discussion. A lot was said with no real conclusion, but that’s not the topic of my blog today, it may be related but not really (I don’t even know if that made sense). My blog today is an advice to all my Mizo bros as well as non Mizo bros about to start their lives as an independent working man.

I believe that had there been someone to give ‘the guys’ who were unfortunate enough to be labeled lazy, useless and don’t take their jobs seriously, appropriate career advises they would have been better off and this is my attempt to reduce such incidents. So here they are:

Know what you want to do for a living.

I always knew I wanted to be in advertising, but never knew how to get there, so I ended up wasting 2 years of my life doing my MBA and then another useless year working in Samsung finance department till I found my way to advertising. If you’re good at something and you like doing it, go for it. Don’t worry about the finances, it will come one day. It’s better to do what you like than to hate what you do. If you want to be a carpenter, be the best fucking carpenter. There is dignity in labor.

There’s a world beyond Mizoram

Move out of your comfort zone. The best of you will come out when you face challenges and fail over and over again. If you want to start a business, think beyond Mizoram, there’s a whole country and even the world to explore. Holding a government job is good, or a MCS or engineer or doctor, teacher, nurse etc. but so is being a copywriter, designer, game developer, social media strategist, event manager, consultant, so many amazing jobs. I will never understand why everyone I know wants to go back home right after they complete their studies, I want to eventually go back home too, but not until I’ve made my presence felt. I'm not judging but that's just me or maybe its just that there's job for my line of work back home. 

Be confident and show it.

If you show insecurity in the corporate world, the big boys will bully you and eat you alive. If you have an idea, present it with confidence. When you’re introduced to someone, shake their hand firmly; show them you are their equal. Bosses love young, dynamic and confident employees and believe me women like it too. So there 2 birds with one stone.

Stay curious and ask questions

Be nice to everyone from top to bottom level employees. There’s always something to learn from everyone, try to spend time with them and ask questions. There’s so much to learn from people’s lives and experiences. Soak in their culture and learn to think like them. Remember to always stay excited and motivated.

Never say No

Sometimes you will get orders from bosses that may sound/seem impossible to accomplish; but never say No. Try to do it anyway. In your process of failure or success you will learn so much more than your regular “possible” work. You will research more, learn new tricks and your brain will function faster than usual and whether you fail or succeed you will be better at you work EVERYTIME!

Show them what your worth

Like I said before, don’t worry too much about the finances in the beginning, I mean it is important but it’s not everything. If you work hard enough the money will come and when it comes nothing can compare to the feeling. I Started with 5000 a month, spent nights sleeping in the office I worked my ass off, worked on weekends and  never complained, well I did complain (sometimes complaining is fun) but I never gave up. If you work hard enough, companies will give you what you're worth, if they're not, others will. You are what your worth, so keep yourself and your skills sharp.

Stay Creative

Creative doesn’t mean you have to be an advertising expert, be creative in your own line of work. Explore new ways to do things, if it hasn’t been done your way, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Everything can change, every process, every style etc.; there’s always room for change and a better way of doing things. Challenge and question ideas, processes and if you have a better way, present it but never be condescending. Some ideas will be appreciated and most rejected but don’t take it to heart

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Start Saving

Don't make the same mistake I made of not saving. Start saving from as early, maybe just 500 a month for the first year will do, then when you get a raise increase it to 1000. You will need them for a rainy day. Make a monthly budget of how much you spend on clothes, food and going out for parties and try to stick to the plan.

That’s all I can say for now as I have to get back to work. Oh, and learn the local language it will take you a long way in your life and career. Last but not the least let go of your pride and learn to respect everyone, you will not always have great bosses but respect them and learn as much as you can from them. I have never been in a position where I did not learn something from someone. (I hope i didn't sound too preachy)

Random Ranting

Aren’t we a fucking lazy bunch? Or is it just our complete disregard for others? I read somewhere that India is a nation that’s always in a rush to get somewhere but never on time. Well it’s because we as a nation are fucking lazy and have no respect for others. Seriously, the fucking street sweepers start sweeping the roads at 9 am with their carts parked in the road during rush fucking hour, slowing traffic. Why can’t they do it at 5 AM or maybe 6 AM?

And the worst part is once you've managed to get past the ignorant sweepers of Delhi and enter Noida, you find yourself in another un-necessary traffic  – a Cow/Bull decides, “hmmm... it’s a nice warm morning, I think I’ll take a nap right in the middle of the fucking road. fuck humans”. These are days when you just want to die!

Talk about dying I think a part of me died the day I watched 50 shades - the movie. I actually hated my laptop after watching it. I don’t know why even though it was my decision to watch, I hated my laptop for showing it to me. I have nothing good to say about that fucking movie. And the worst part is I’ve seen movies worse than 50 Shades that gave me a boner at least, that fucking movie just confused my weaner.

As for weaners and all things related to its whereabouts, I think Indian men have the worst toilet etiquette. I have worked in 3 of the biggest companies and trust me the men’s toilet is a nightmare, especially the commode. I have seen footprints on the commode seats and things on them that no man alive needs to see.

And I can never understand why they keep putting sings that say "throw used toilet paper in the dustbin". What are we suppose to just wipe our butt and throw it in the dustbin? It's not a very delightful sight to behold while taking a dump, you know.

I imagine some people playing 'Guess Who's Ass-Wipe' - "The one on top is really light yellow, so it must be Rahul's ass wipe tissue, he was complaining about his stomach from the samosa he had in the morning. The one below it is 2 shades darker..." - Who knows about these thing's.

I for one was brought up by women and they had strict rules for using the toilet, especially my Granny. If I broke the rules I was made to do my business in the makeshift toilet in the garden. 

She had three simple rules:

•  If you’re going to pee, lift the seat. 
• When done put it back down. Always flush after use.
• Think about the next person using it as yourself, so leave it clean.

And I've always carried these things with me, but I guess people grew up differently or maybe they just don’t give a shit. Anyway here's a cat that clearly does not give a shit!

Sometimes I just get so frustrated and tired at the mess we have to go through when we all know that if we stop to care a little about others everything would be better.

Some day India, some day.

29

She never thought ‘29’, a number so random would bother her as much as she woke up that morning. Several intervals of her morning that day was spent in front of the mirror Sherlock Holmes’ing for signs on 29. I think she might have “Googled life expectancy” and came to no conclusion as to why it bothered her so much. She did her math, wondered if what she was feeling was a Mid Life crisis, but the numbers proved she was a year or two behind, feeling a little better she thought, maybe its a quarter Life crisis, but she was 4 or 5 years too late. "Fuck 29!" she thought to herself. The world would be a better place without 29, who needs 29? Things would be so much simpler if the counting system went “26,27,28,30…”. She didn't like the prospect of 30 after 29 either, but she hated 29 even more so, and the more she thought, the more it looked like an evil sibling determined to destroy her youth. Maybe it should just stop at 28…and numbers after that should cease to exist. Nature seemed to agree with her anger and disgust for 29, as it responded with thunder and rain. She peaked out the window anlooked at the gloomy dark sky. There was nothing happy about this day, nor this number, and everything around her seemed to agree. It didn't help that exactly 29 people called to wish her that morning. She googled 'facts about 29' as she lit her 29th cigarette of the day. No sooner did she stub her last cigarette and closed the page as she read the last fact – “29 is the Atomic number of Copper”.