LOST IN THOUGHT!

For one that’s in the business of creativity, I just realized, I can’t really think about anything for a good period of time, except when I’m about to miss a deadline (nothing can generate ideas faster than a nearing deadline). My mind is usually all over the place, I may be thinking about one thing and by the time I realize I’m lost in thought, I’d be so far away from where I had started, that I don’t remember what I was thinking about in the first place. There was this time I was thinking about what I’d write for a MetLife ad and by the time the Client Servicing guy came to see if I had come up with anything, I had thought of a great idea for a MyCard ad but nothing on the MetLife brief. Aaahhh how annoyingly messed up this brain of mine can be.

Talk about annoying, I don’t think there’s anything more annoying than a half page ad. I always throw away the half page ad and the last page of the newspaper it’s attached to before I read the damn thing. I’ve written to TOI and Hindustan times a number of times but they don’t seem to bother. A friend of mine said he’s actually mastered the fine art of holding a half page ad together hassle free, but my question is - Why do we need to master it anyway? It’s a damn newspaper, meant to be read hassle free! I don’t want to have to master the art of reading it. While we’re in the subject of reading and annoying, have you guys read 50 shades of grey? WTF!

Man…that was such an over-rated, dumb, poor excuse of an adult novel. The story was as inspiring and entertaining as watching wet shit dry out. I got nothing out of it. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Everything I read there, I had read in my teens from cheap erotic novels and short stories sold at ISBT and book stalls in train stations. The only difference is that 50 shades was better packaged and more expensive. It's a waste of precious time and money. I would have had a better time hiring an English guy read those cheap roadside erotic stories in a very thick English accent to me. Hahahahahaha that made me laugh, wouldn’t it be awesome to hear an Englishman talk dirty in bed? “I say, darling, do you suppose we could fornicate tonight? With you on top of course, I seem to have twisted my back on a rather careless horse riding incident today. Oh, and while you’re at it, would you mind passing me that cup of tea?” hahahahahahaha what more can I say?

Aaahhh… Accents how they can change situations, especially the English accent they make everything sound so important and formal. I can’t bitch about the Indian accent coz I seem to have a lil bit of it and I’m Indian so I let Russel Peters do the bitching (he’s awesome at it). But of all the accents I’ve heard, I think the Jamaican accent is the coolest accent On The Planet (Even Snoop Dogg has a Jamaican name now)! They make everything sound so cool, like no curse words could sound cooler than in Jamaican “wer ja goin, cute punani” try saying that in any other accent without it sounding abusive. In Jamaican accent it sounds like a compliment. The word itself sounds like tropical fruit (maybe it is), it’s just so much cooler. Even broke Jamaican guys look cool as shit. Like they're proud to be broke, they made a conscious decision to be broke! Look at this dude on the left...does he look like he gives a F*@k about the fact that he has no clothes to wear, no pants?  

And I’ve always wondered... Why do I hate fruits so much? (except the tropical one we just talked about) Ever since I was a kid, I never liked fruits. My Granny and Aunt would force me to eat it and I’d make so many faces and excuses trying to avoid it, but they always had their way. It’s not that they taste bad or anything, I just hate them, it’s a personal thing for me, a personal grudge against fruits, communist fruits. I passionately hate fruits, but I do love 'apple pie' (I know it's not a fruit, but it contains fruits...so zip it!), with hot chocolate syrup and ice cream. Ahh…now that's a pleasant thought! Makes me hungry, but since I’m on a diet, I’ll just look past food and think of a beach with lots of women in bikinis eating Apple pie Dammit! Focus, Zakk...focus, you can do it (I’m talking to myself, motivating myself to stay from food…)

Anyway I think I’m gonna go down for a smoke, I can’t seem to come up with any ideas or concept for an ad I’m suppose to finish in the next few hours. Life’s a bitch!