Dating Da General Aka Me!

What dating me would be like. (The way I see it)

Everyone thinks about how they would make a good boyfriend or a girlfriend because let’s face it we only know the good sides of us and how we see ourselves is more or less the way we want people to see us. In our own versions of every story, we're always right, damn right! And I was just thinking about how good of a boyfriend I'd make last night and tried not to be too self-centered. After much pondering, I realized I’d be more than a handful to handle (pun intended) but I'd make a really awesome boyfriend. J

Ok so here’s a list of what you could expect from dating me.

• I’m a Chelsea FC fanatic. My mood and quite possibly the fate of our evening and relationship could hang on the results of a Chelsea match and your reaction to it.
• I may be old but I don’t think I ever grew up. Most of the time I would think and react like a boy which could sometimes look cute but sometimes downright frustrating.
• I throw tantrums like it’s a hobby. Like when a kid wants a toy and you don’t buy the toy for him and he starts crying in the middle of the street rolling over like a mad man with an epileptic episode. Annoying as fuck till you buy it for him and he has the most adorable face ever and you look at the kid and you’re like ‘awwww’ - I think I may be like that. I’m not sure but I think I can pull off the look.
• I would probably buy stuff for you from time to time and surprise you with gifts.
• I’m very romantic but like to be romanced every once in a while.
• I’m an attention seeking missile that can explode with unprecedented drama.
• I hate to admit it but I do like my drink (whiskey please). I mean after a long hard days work all I look forward to is going home and switching on the TV and have a few glasses, eat like a king and sleep.
• I’ve been trying to quit smoking forever and I haven’t given up on trying either, so you’d probably be very annoyed with my regular failed attempts at some point of time.
• I always sleep on the right side of the bed. That’s my zone, my area no matter whose bed it is. So you might have to learn to sleep on the left side.
• After a good shower I sometimes use a conditioner to condition my beard, chest hair, arm pits and other such parts which I shall not mention.
• I’m a perfume freak, I like to smell good but I sometimes over do it.
• I’d probably have more shoes and perfumes than you do, which does not make me gay.
• I have a very mild case of OCD but nothing serious.
• I have a habit of losing my temper over unnecessary stuff. Like if I see a guy drop something and I know that knows that he’s dropped something and doesn't pick it up right away, I will effin get pissed off.
• I don’t know why but I wear my watch on my right hand.
• I snore a lot and I snore loud, sometimes I can actually really hear myself snore in my sleep.
• I love my Grandmother and my brother more than anyone else in the whole wide world.
• On certain Sundays I like to smoke up and watch movies all day. I might even forget to call you or procrastinate on replying to your texts.  
• I have high blood pressure and regularly forget to take my meds and do absolutely nothing to control it either.
• On certain occasions I will pick a fight with you for no reason at all like it’s something to do.
• I’d like to think I have a soft heart and am very compassionate masked by a bad ass image.
• I also like to think I’m very friendly but I've been told otherwise.

I could go on but I think this kinda sums me up quite well. But I’ll leave you with this awesome picture and my cousin Zizi description of it. Cheers!

The subliminal messages !!!.... cute kid to show you are safe and potentially a good dad...scholastic books in the foreground to show of the smarts... shot showing off your shoulders but cutting out your belly...sunglasses off so we can see your eyes but hanging from your shirt so we know you are cool enough to wear them...the laideezs have no chance!!!
Amen!